Ghost Of My Past
by WriTerGrL
Summary: First TT Fic! Robin and Raven both need to deal with isues in their lives. On one stormy night they find one another on the roof. Feelings will be hurt and things that were suposed to remain silent come out. 911 mentioned. BBTerra mentioned also. P


**"Birds of a Feather...Flock Together"**

This is a one shot Raven and Robin fic. Beast Boy and Terra hinted in the beginning. September 11th is mentioned in the beginning also, somewhat angsty but oh well. Also please don't flame me about the characters being well out of character because that is the whole point! This is supposed to be the part of them that we never see.  
  
Oh Yeah Robin and Raven pairing because I believe that this is a coupling that makes sense for many different reason. Robin and Star as well as Beast Boy and Raven just don't make any sense when you analyze them...that's just my opinion. You know the drill I don't own any of these characters or the song "I Feel You" which is by 3 Doors Down...heck I don't even own this computer. Anyhow enjoy the fic.

* * *

"EEP!" a little green figure slid further under the bed. "Man I hate storms!" he whimpered helplessly. He watched as the rain drops began to form monstrous shadows around his bedroom. "Ok...safety in numbers...must find Terra or Cyborg...ok on the count of three" BOOM the sound of thunder echoed and shook the room with such a violent force that it moved the boy and caused the rest of the room to go into chaos with falling posters of posing women falling lamps and other such things.  
  
"Screw this! THREE!" with adrenaline pumping the shape shifting teenager changed into a cat like animal and ran aimlessly down the darkened hall way. "Cyborg! Terra! Raven! Anybody!" a voice and a small flicker of light were down the hall way "Beast Boy?" the voice replied back. The flicker grew closer and the young green boy pinned it down thinking it was a monster that had been chasing him through the shadows.  
  
He felt as arms wrapped around his neck and mouth "AHH! Help me! It's trying to eat me!" He felt as the dark figure slap his face. "You idiot it's only me you fraidy cat!" the young boy felt the figure let go of him and he got up, the stinging sensation of the blow still burning the whole left side of his face. "Terra?" he said as the flicker reappeared revealing the pair of beautiful blue eyes that he loved most in the entire world.  
  
She dusted herself "Yeah it's me! Me and Cyborg and Starfire are up...but then Starfire went to her room. She said something about not wanting to see the sky in such agony or something like that", she put her finger to the side of her head and made a circling motion as she made a "cookoo" sound.  
  
"And Cyborg went downstairs to go work on his car. So you want to um...play some video games? Because I can't sleep and...And you obviously can't sleep...and um...I already made a bunch of tofu...and um Yeah" she asked shyly. "You bet!" he replied to her mumbled offer, the fear that plagued him left as he saw her blush as she asked him.  
  
The two ran down the hall way into the living room "WooHoo! I so totally beat you!" the young changeling turned back into his human form and slowly turned around to find a very pissed off Terra. "That's because you cheated!" the boy stuck his tongue out and did a back flip onto the couch landing perfectly in front of the TV.  
  
"I won fair and square your just a soar loser!...loser" the blond girl also jumped up almost touching the ceiling and cannon balled right on top of the young boy knocking him off his spot.  
  
"I call shotgun on 1st player... loser" The little green boy stuck his tongue out at her and she did like wise as he sat down next to her and picked up the other controller. "Prepare to be schooled!" The two began their video game marathon; the first on their late night video game marathon was NBA Live 2004 a favorite choice for both parties.  
  
"Hey where's Robin and Raven?" the little green boy asked in between plays. "I don't know probably being moody like they always are! Damn!" she lost her concentration and Beast Boy stole the ball and was driving down court.  
  
"Yeah those two are so perfect for each other it's almost funny! I mean he's so moody and she's the queen of Blah and their both just well perfect for another. But he's with Star fire which is dumb because they're so totally opposite! That is like the mismatch of the century!" she added as she tried to keep the green boy from scoring "That would be like me and Raven together" he shook in disgust "Eww! Ugh!" Terra laughed at his reaction as she replied  
  
"Yeah I could see it now you would be all upbeat and nice and she would be all blah and gloomy" they both laughed at the mental picture of the two opposite people together. "Yeah they both like one another but both are to dense to see it, some people are too dense to see the person who is so totally perfect for them even when they're right in front of them" she added as she envisioned her and Beast boy together.  
  
She had developed a huge crush on the shape shifter after he helped her see that her powers didn't scare him. "You mean like you were too dense to see that sweet three pointer I just made on your butt!" he said in triumph causing her to come out of her fantasy.  
  
"Oh you little Punk! That's it I'm gonna whoop you so bad that your gonna be hearing school bells and seeing stars!" she said as she tied it up "Bring it on" he said as he traveled down the court but fouled on the player and now she was at the free throw line. Swish! Both shots went in and she won game one with a two point lead. She looked at him with a triumphant grin  
  
"Oh believe me It's been Brung!" the two began their war of sticking out their tongues at one another. "Who's the soar loser now!" she said as they began game two, the look of defeat written all over her opponents face. "Bet you can't win twice!" he said as he dunked the ball. "Bet you I can!" 

"Bet you can't!"

"So totally Can!"

"Dude You Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can't!"

This argument pretty much went on for half an hour

* * *

#Raven's Bedroom#  
  
The small dark figure was huddled on top of her bed covered in a mass a purple and black silk. Droplets of cold sweat cascading her small pale face causing the sheer black fabric to cling to her body. The silk fabric that clothed her had already clung to her body.  
  
(Raven's mind) Black ash covered her entire body, sweet and fatigue had taken over, she stood pleading and yet totally in control, it was more an act of proposition. She couldn't make out what the dream version of herself said but she could make out the words, she knew them all too well "Take my Hand" she saw as a pair of black gloved hands take hers and all to quickly let them go.  
  
The hands belonged to a young boy although his identity couldn't be seen through the cloud of dust that engulfed them both . He looked to sky as the it rained down its ashes as he stood looking for a bit of guidance or salvation maybe, just for an answer, a reason as to why this had to happen. She looked at the young boy, his blue eyes shining through the ash and tears that covered his handsome face.  
  
** They gave me a life that's not so easy to live  
  
And then they sent me on my me a life that's not so easy to live  
  
And then they sent me on my way  
**  
He bent down and picked up the black cloth that had been on his face and placed it back on and he once again assumed his identity as the super hero Robin. He looked to Raven and with gratitude took her hand in his. The two flew away from the wreckage from the horrible disaster that had happened moments before vowing that it was their sworn duty to make sure things of  
that nature never happened again.  
  
(Out of Raven's Mind) Raven awoke from the nightmare and slowly lifted herself to a sitting position. "Why did I have to remember that moment...why couldn't it have left with all the others!" a crack of thunder resounded throughout her room as her room went into a frenzy of collapsed things due to her rage. She looked to her hand, the hand that started it all.  
  
"Had I not asked you that day what would have happened, would life be as it is now? Would I know you? Would my life have been better had I never came to this world? Would I still be like this...Unable to control my powers...? Unable to express how I feel when every part of my being wishes to be able to let people...let you see how I feel without fearing what might happen if I did"

**I've left my love and forgot my dreams  
  
And lost them along the way  
  
**The young gothic girl lifted herself off her bed and willed herself to leave the confines of her room determined not to let such trivial things as past crushes cloud her mind. A battle between logic and love raged a war within her mind; logic of course would win in the end. She heard the sound of laughter coming down the hall way, she recognized it as Terra and BeastBoy.  
  
Raven knew the two liked each other but knew neither of them would admit to it if you asked them. "Fools listen to them laugh they could be doing something better with their measly time like reading or training" her emotionless face showing slight annoyance.  
  
She walked down the hall way slowly hoping to surprise the two love struck teenagers just to see the embarrassment on their faces. She peeked her head out to see what they were doing not expecting to see what was awaiting her. For a person who usually shows no emotion her face was full of surprise and disgust, there on the couch was BeastBoy and Terra in what Beastboy would call a "major lip lock".  
  
The young girl ran down the hallway in the opposite direction to keep herself from screaming in disgust leaving a trail of dust as she raced away. She finally found a small corner at the end of the hallway to sit and let what she just saw sink in and process into her mind. "Ok that was weird and disgusting, emphasis on disgusting" she looked up to see the door that lead to the staircase connecting the house to the roof of head quarters.  
  
"I think I'm overdue on my meditation" she needed to clear her head especially about what she just witnessed but more importantly about her feelings to a certain boy wonder.  
  
**Those little things you say  
  
When words mean so much  
  
You never back down  
  
When they all shy away  
  
You always listen to me  
**  
The wind swept the sheer fabric that covered her nightgown and she felt as the cool rain drip down her face. She felt a sense of peace at letting her body become victim to the harsh storm that surrounded and threatened to harm her at any moment. She always came out on the roof during severe storms.  
  
It reminded her of home... of Azarath. Although not a place most would chose to remember it was the only thing she knew that would never change in her life, the sadness the presence of death and madness was something that would never change and in a way that was comforting.  
  
Her pale bare feet making their way over to the end of the building her toes hanging over the ledge, her smooth pale arms stretched out beside her. She wished to jump to see what it felt like, to feel that sense of letting go, what she wished to do with that futile emotion called love that haunted her. She was a bird who longed to fly but whose wings have been clipped. She let her mind go as the memories of the past flood her already hectic mind.  
  
The pain of it all or perhaps the strong gust of wind was what caused her small frame to lose her balance making her midnight watcher to come out of hiding as he wrapped his strong arms around her slender waist causing her to return back to reality. "Raven what are doing!" he said in fear at the thought of his best friend trying to end her life. "I was meditating" she said callously as he let go of her, the tension causing both of them to stand in utter silence.  
  
Why isn't he talking to me? the young girl thought to herself. Five minutes passed and the two stood looking at one another and the storm that engulfed both of their beings. "Why are you here exactly?" she asked in slight annoyance, her powerful voice cutting through the silence. He was sitting on the edge head resting on one knee as the other leg dangled over the edge. "I just needed to think" he answered simply in the same monotone voice she usually possessed.  
  
** And what do I get to get me through these sleepless nights  
  
And what do I have to hold when no one's there to hold me tight  
  
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel  
and I feel you  
  
**She bent down and sat next to him facing the opposite direction. The two teenagers at ease with the other's presence, both looking in wonder and fear at the beautiful display of lightning and thunder each one's mind cluttered with millions of thoughts.  
  
He gazed up at the sky with wandering eyes, raven took note of this and the image in her dream once again plagued her mind. His eyes were still searching for salvation, still searching for that answer that wouldn't come.  
  
"Do you know what tomorrow is Raven?" he asked with a saddened face, he turned to look at her who had a solemn look on her face as well. "September 10th the day your..." her voice cracked with guilt, the guilt she knew she would feel if she finished that sentence.  
  
"The day my parents died" he got up off the edge and stood up. His body resembling a cold statue. He appeared to be a lost sailor trying to find his home by looking at the stars. He looked to the sky still searching for the answers that refused to come.  
  
She barely realized he wasn't in his normal choice of attire but in a black t-shirt and baggy red pants, the articles of clothing clung to his small but powerful physique, but what shocked her the most was that the mask that he normally sported was gone and for the first time in almost two years she saw his face for what it was, blue eyes and all.  
  
The Rain mixed with his tears giving his already handsome face a crystal glow. "You know for years I've looked to the skies... to God for an answer or a reason as to why they had to die! Why people have to die!" he crouched down in pain, the pain he still held even after all these years.  
  
He pounded the ground beneath him in frustration and the tears flowed freely, to an observer it merely looked like rain but raven knew him better than that. She gently lifted herself up and took off the sheer fabric that acted like robe or cape and placed it on his shoulder.

**And this ain't no bed of nails  
  
But they're not roses just the same  
  
But God this road sure can be long  
  
Another endless day, another seven hundred miles will take me further from  
my home  
**  
"Raven did you ever think we started this for nothing? That this super hero business is in vain, that no matter what we do this all adds up to nothing?" he looked to her as he did the sky. She didn't see the Robin the rest had come to know but a glimmer of the same lost boy she had found years before.  
  
He shivered in the cold still looking to her for guidance as he always had. He was doubting himself again like he used to before, something most people would find absurd for him to do...for Robin the boy wonder, leader of the Teen Titans to even think about. This wasn't their Robin she looked at now but hers. This was the part of him that nobody else saw, the side only she could see.  
  
"The only way for evil to triumph in this world is for good men to do nothing" she smiled at him. She hadn't smiled in long time, for ages it seemed. "Remember the day after tomorrow?" he asked with a serious look. Raven's face turned to stone and she walked to the other side of the roof facing the city. "Yes" he followed after her but kept his distance. Their eyes fell to the same place, an odd gap that once held two great towers.  
  
"It was the day you found me, the day we started the Teen Titans" he emphasized the "we" as he looked down letting his fingers run through the sheer robe that she had given him as it laid in his hands.  
  
She looked down at their island and remembered how they alone had built this tower they now stood on. "Yes I remember, the same day you became leader" she replied sarcastically. He felt as a shot pain struck his chest and he saw what had become of his friend. "What happened to us Rae? We used to be so close" he walked up to her but she retreated and walked the other way.  
  
"This conversation is pointless, I don't want to talk about this" she tried all her might to keep in the rage and pain. The way she had passed him off annoyed and enraged the teen leader. "Well I do! This isn't pointless! Stop trying to hide from the world! Especially me!" he yelled back at her, the echo of his voice followed by a clap of thunder. He let the fabric fall from his hands and it now lied in the rain, left to defend itself against the storm.  
  
She turned in defiance and gazed at him dead on. He let his eyes bathe in the beautiful sight he was witnessing; her beautiful purple hair drenched and outlined her small face. The silk black fabric clung to her every curve and he saw not the raven everyone else knew but how he remembered her from long ago, she was frightening and yet beautiful. She was still an enigma wrapped around a mystery.  
  
** Those little things you say  
  
When words mean so much  
  
You never back down  
  
When they all shy away  
  
You always listen to me  
**  
The sound of car alarms and thunder claps and lightning strikes filled the night air, Robin finally realizing he did what most couldn't do: he had pissed raven off.  
  
"What do you know about me Boy Wonder! Did you know that I'm half demon...that I come from a world deprived of love joy and happiness...that I'm a product of rape...that my mother killed herself...that my father hates me and wishes to kill me...that I can't feel or let my emotions show even when I want them to...that I'm scared and have been scared about the evil that's inside me, the side that can take over me at any minute?! But I guess you knew all that because you're the mighty leader and know everything is that it?"  
  
She hovered above ground as the cold wind swept about her giving her a more powerful and frightening appearance than she already had. Her eyes glowed an eerie red color and every tree and car for three blocks was absolutely demolished.  
  
Robin stood there in amazement at what he just heard about the past Raven had desperately tried to keep hidden from the world. "Raven...I'm sorry" the boy was too shocked to say anything else. He looked downcast and felt as guilt washed over him, that and the feeling of pity he felt towards the small girl who now looked even more fragile in his eyes. She regained her composure and tried hard to let the memories of her long forgotten past pass through her mind without breaking her down to that pitiful ball of insanity and sadness.  
  
"I don't need your sympathy so you might as well save it for yourself" she retorted back, her words dripping like poison as it entered into the young boy's heart. She looked at his hurt face, the words had caused the pain she hoped they would Go Away Dick you don't want me...Go away don't try to get close to me, I'll only hurt you...push him away maybe he'll leave, Your not good enough for him anyway...your not good enough for anyone she thought.  
  
"I'm not going to leave you Raven...I never will." he called out to her as she headed towards the door. He watched as she freezed and turned around to face him. She was seeing it again, the scene of her mother soaked in her own blood, she could hear her mothers voice "I'll never leave you my little Rae" she saw the face of death and it made its home on her mother's pale face.  
  
She charged at him with super human strength as she lifted him by his collar nearly choking him, she looked into his frightened eyes that reflected her pain filled rage eyes within them. "Empty promises" she hissed back as she dropped him to the floor with a painful "THUD". She stood at the edge of the building with her arms stretched out as before trying to ease the pain and erase forgotten memories.  
  
**And what do I get to get me through these sleepless nights  
  
And what do I have to hold when no one's there to hold me tight  
  
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel  
and I feel you  
**  
"Raven we started this together...You helped me get past the pain of losing my parents...You reminded me of who I am...You picked me up and carried me when I thought I couldn't fly...You made me a proposition that day do you remember?" the rain began to beat harder on their bodies causing both of them to feel pain. "Yes" she looked down at him as he struggled to get up. Violet met blue and the colors drowned and basked in one another.  
  
He looked up to see her...not the sky which left him answerless. He looked at her with the same wonder he usually gazed at the night sky and it all came crashing down. The years he had been looking for an answer...a piece of salvation...an angel and it had already came to him, it came the day she said "Take my hand". Raven puzzled at the way he was looking at her.  
  
He had never looked at anyone like he was looking at her, not even Starfire. I Love Raven the thought played over and over in his mind. "That day I vowed I would stay by your side and you vowed to stay by mine...I never mean to break that vow and promise I never will." He shouted through the storm.  
  
She looked at the young boy she had fallen madly in love with. "You don't mean that ...I don't intend to keep that vow...I didn't mean it...Go Away you Fool" the emotionless face she carried broke due to the sadness she felt at the thought of lying to Robin, the person she cared for most in the entire world and any other world. He grabbed her and held her in an embrace, her cold soaking body pressing on his.  
  
This feels right they both thought. "I'll never leave you I swear...Raven...My best friend...My angel...I Love You...I Always have I just didn't know it till know" he whispered into her ear. The smooth wet violet locks touching his cheek. A small crystal liquid began to form in her eyes and as soon as it touched her cheek the rain stopped. These were the first tears the young girl had ever cried in her entire life.  
  
She didn't cry when her mother died or whenever she got hurt as a child but kept that pain inside. Every emotion she could have expressed at that moment left her body in that single tear. In her mind love and logic and all her other counterparts merged to form on subconscious...one raven.  
  
The red crystal that laid on her forehead glowed a magnificent ruby color. A red and purple aura surrounded the two, a crystal similar to Ravens appeared to come out of Robin's chest where his heart was located and entered into raven's chest causing her to gasp at this new feeling she was experiencing, she was whole now.  
  
The missing piece of her soul was found. Her soul mate had been found. She transformed physically as well and was now clothed in a white gown and her hair had also grown but the young boy hadn't noticed. The two auras had become one.  
  
**I know what you're going through now  
  
Believe me I live this  
**  
The two auras's danced with one another, red and purple danced and flew with another to form the shape of a bird that spread its wings over the two like a giant guardian angel. The young boy's hair had also grown and he was clothed in a black robe muck like the men of royalty on Azarath would wear but he hadn't noticed.  
  
The two held on tighter to one another as the power surged through them. They changed into the younger versions of themselves then to the current state they were in and then to their future selves with Robin as Nightwing and her older and in her white uniform instead of usual her purple.  
  
They then turned into their older adults selves both clothed in the royal robes of Azarath then suddenly the earth began to shake and they to let out a yell as their minds became one for a few minutes, but for them it felt like eternity as each experienced the other's pain and sorrows, joys and triumphs.  
  
The two older versions held on to the other tightly until finally the process was done and the bird aura split in two and entered into both of them. They looked at one another in their adult form one last time before they returned to their present state as teenagers.  
  
They looked at one another with peace and understanding but mostly it was love that shone through. There were no more secrets or any thing the other didn't know about the other. They looked at one another both soaked covered in the rain that had begun to fall again as they turned to see that sunrise was upon them, a new day they would have to face, new trials especially for Robin who had to tell Starfire of his new relationship with Raven.  
  
He really didn't know why he had begun a relationship with her to begin with. He loved Starfire in a certain way perhaps but not like his love for Raven. He knew since that day on September 11th when he lost all hope in himself, that day when she lifted him up and gave the crippled bird wings, she believed in him that day and continued to believe in him.  
  
Raven had found that inner peace, that constant in her life, that one person she could rely on, someone who could understand her pain, her soul mate, that one person she could open up to and would help her open up, unlike others in her life this was someone who genuinely loved her and would never leave her side. Past , present, future the knew they would always be together if not actually in love then as best friends. Their destinies were now intertwined with one another's.  
  
**And what do I get to get me through these sleepless nights  
  
And what do I have to hold when no one's there to hold me tight  
  
And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel  
and I feel you  
**  
The two stood on the edge watching the black sky slowly turn to blue. She looked to the boy with the same look she had that day as she held out her hand with the same offer "Take My Hand" she smiled. He smiled back and took her hand, this time with no hesitation whatsoever.  
  
They edged closer to the ledge "Birds of a feather" he said the first part of their motto that they had made up that first day. "Flock together" she replied as they looked at one another. They felt as the cares of the past and future left them at once only to leave the sky and them.  
  
Robin and Raven two birds who had forgotten how to fly but with the help of one another could soar again ...with one another the sky was the limit. They would have to return once dawn approached but for the time being they were two free birds ruling the skies, king of the morning light and queen of the midnight hour.  
  
They were Robin and Raven two birds of the same feather, two people in love.  
  
**And what do I see the only thing that gets me through this is what I feel  
and I feel you  
**

* * *

Authors Note: Ok if you didn't get it here it goes: Raven can put her soul into other people or her soul is in other people according to the comic series and based on a little saying that goes:  
  
"When God made you he split your soul in two and gave it to someone else and vice versa a.k.a your soul mate" ok well I hope their isn't any more confusion. If you want me to further this idea like maybe a story about when they first met or a future story, please let me know if you want to see more of their past and future. 


End file.
